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Life: A game of hide and seek

Published on Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Life: A game of hide and seek

Kerstan Schwartz is a second-year PharmD candidate at the Northeast Ohio Medical University College of Pharmacy.

Throughout my years of school, I have learned the importance of maintaining my mental health and well-being the hard way. In 2021, I started a 1-year master’s program at Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA. It was accelerated and rigorous, and I was dedicating all my time, day in and day out, to my studies. Fall semester went well, but when spring semester started, that is when I felt my body taking a toll. Life felt like a game of hide and seek.

I became full of anxiety and worry that I couldn’t control. I could hardly drive into the parking garage for school; sitting in class became something I had to convince myself to do; and going into the grocery store became impossible. It was like I was stuck in a nightmare. What happened? Where did I go? I finished school in May of 2022 and moved back home. I began taking the steps I needed to navigate my anxiety and feel in control again. After 6 months of living at home, I finally felt like I had returned to myself. I had rewired my body and mind. I found myself again, but this time I was equipped with the tools and strength I needed to be in control of myself again.

I tell you this story of my battle with anxiety to express the importance of your mental health and well-being.

The joys in my life

During my studies, I did not make any time for myself. I didn’t take any breaks, I quit my hobbies to increase my study time, and I lost touch with myself mentally. It all was happening over time, and I didn’t even realize until it had already taken over me. But balancing my studies and my life outside of school has allowed me to pick up my hobbies again and spend more time with my family, all of which led me to de-stress and reset.

Some hobbies of mine include hunting and baking. I never realized how much being in the woods cleared my mind and allowed me to reconnect with myself. It is something I do with my friends, and some of my favorite memories are from our hunting experiences. Connecting with nature has always been an important part of my life.  

I also like to bake. Baking things to give to others brings me joy, and I love trying new recipes. My grandma’s zucchini bread recipe is top tier and is my favorite thing to make. Gardening is another way I like to de-stress. There is nothing like fresh vegetables and fruit from the garden. Being able to watch what I planted grow is so rewarding and brings me a lot of joy.

A focus on myself
Allowing myself the time to de-stress and reconnect with the things that make me the happiest has improved my mental health and well-being tremendously. Focusing on myself has made me a better student pharmacist, wife, friend, and daughter.

I am grateful that my experiences have led me to where I am now, and I hope that they can help you, too!

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